Many people find the Festive Season stressful with everything that needs to be done, but it takes on a whole new level of pressure and even sadness when you are going through divorce and family breakdown.

Christmas can also be the final nail in the coffin for relationships that have been on shaky ground for some time, so it’s no coincidence that January is the busiest time for people calling time on their marriages and relationships.

Maybe it’s your first Christmas as a single person, or you’re without your kids for the first time, or you are dreading trying to play happy families as the relationship has reached the end of the road. All of the above can feel very challenging – I know, having been through it myself.

As a Divorce Lawyer, my role is not only to ensure that my clients are supported legally, but that they know what resources are available to feel supported emotionally, and Christmas can be a time when support is needed more than ever.

Regular readers of this column will know that I have teamed up with Annabel Lane – an Empowerment & Transformation Coach who specialises in working with Divorcees. Together we run our monthly Divorce Done Differently Coffee Mornings in Richmond, offering support – legal, practical and emotional – as well as creating a network of like-minded individuals who understand just what you are going through.

It’s something that both Annabel and I would have benefitted from enormously during our own divorces, and our attendees’ feedback is that they are so grateful to have a safe supportive community where they can speak freely about the challenges of divorce and receive guidance and understanding over coffee and conversation.

We began the Divorce Done Differently Coffee Mornings to ensure that divorcees and those going through relationship breakdown feel empowered as they move through the inevitable challenges, rather than simply feeling like a victim of circumstance.

Empowerment for us means understanding what you are entitled to legally and financially, but also understanding how to look after your mental, emotional and physical needs as you go through one of life’s most challenging experiences, and then move on to the next chapter.

So here are our top tips for surviving the festive season.

• The goal is to make it as manageable as possible for yourself and your family - you don’t have to be superman/ woman!
• Make a plan of what you are doing and when, so that you don’t have long periods alone.
• Create new traditions that work for your new family dynamic – e.g. if you’re not going to be with your kids on Christmas day, maybe have an alternative Christmas Day.
• Know that although it will be a different Christmas, that doesn’t mean it will not be an enjoyable one.
• If the children are sharing time between you and your ex, try not to get stressed about the minutia of timings. The children being returned to you 10 or 15 minutes late because they were having a lovely time is not something that you should fall out over, remember, it will be a new Christmas for them as well.
• If the children are away from you for Christmas and this feels challenging, plan some activities that you enjoy to pass the time – such as a (dog) walk with friends, a trip to the cinema, an exercise class – things that make you feel positive and that make the time pass more quickly.
• Remember it’s okay to feel sad that things are changing. Share how you are feeling with people you trust and let them know that you are struggling (if you are) so that they can support you.
• If things become overwhelming at Christmas, make a plan to take advice in the New Year, whether legal, therapeutic or practical. Having a plan can help you regain a sense of control.