Diary of a Divorce Lawyer: September 2021
September is traditionally a busy time of year for those working in family law, with the extended periods of time together during the summer holidays often being the catalyst for a breakdown of marriages or relationships under strain.
This year, the traditional summer routine and the uncertainty around travel have meant a change in the relatively predictable. The usual peaks and troughs following intense periods of time together seem to have dissipated due to the pandemic.
After the first lockdown, the surge in divorce applications wasn’t a surprise. The restrictions on social distancing, the pressures of work and family life created the kind of pressure point that we usually see at Christmas and summer. For those whose relationships were already at breaking point, it was the final straw. For many who managed to survive the first lockdown, the second hit hard.
The common themes for post-pandemic divorce and family breakdowns include feeling trapped, the change in household dynamics and financial pressures. It’s hardly surprising that the pandemic was the perfect storm for many who may have already been papering over the cracks in their marriage for some time.
A lady who I shall call Lucy contacted me late last year. She lives in Twickenham and is also a solicitor in London. She told me that her marriage had deteriorated over the last few years and that she and her husband Greg had drifted apart, each investing heavily in their own career and life outside the home. When the first lockdown occurred last year, she thought that it would be an opportunity to spend more time at home with Greg and their six-year old twin girls, refocusing on family life without the usual distractions.
Although at first the lack of a daily commute and outside activity added hours back into her days, the novelty quickly wore off with the pressures of home-schooling and the lack of routine taking its toll. She called me on a number of occasions when she was out on a ‘run or walk’, saying that it was the only time she could speak privately. Like many of us, when the government announced the lockdown in the New Year, Lucy said she was at her lowest. She said that there was little that she felt could practically be achieved whilst the country remained in lockdown. In May when restrictions were eased, Greg and Lucy separated. Happily, one of the positive aspects of the time spent together meant that they agreed that the marriage was over and that they both wanted to move on as separated co-parents, putting the welfare of the children first.
The financial impact of the pandemic has also played a major part in couples separating and divorcing, with many being furloughed, having to accept significantly lower incomes or being made redundant. When I am approached by a new client, one of the first exercises we undertake is assessing what the needs of that individual and any dependent children are. Needs vary significantly from family to family based on lifestyle and income. Agreeing what is needed, as opposed to what would be ideal, is often a difficult exercise and a source of conflict. Having a handle on what your needs are is an essential part of moving forward independently.
I was recently instructed by a gentleman called Dave. He had been working as a banker in the city until the pandemic hit and he had been made redundant. After struggling to find another job, he eventually found one at half the salary. His marriage had broken down and in March he approached me to commence divorce proceedings. When I looked at what his wife claimed she needed to survive post-divorce, it was clear that it was more of a wish list than a needs list. Dave simply could not afford to meet her budget and when the matter went to court, her needs were reduced significantly and the Judge gave an indication of a level of spousal maintenance that was affordable for Dave.
The reality is that Lucy and Dave are just examples of how the effects of the pandemic continue to be far-reaching. Even though we may have seen the end of restrictions as we knew them, we certainly haven’t see the end of the impact that financial hardships, enforced cohabitation and financial struggles have had on relationships, and it is my feeling that it will be a long time, years even, before family law practitioners hear the last of Covid19.