One of the first things people ask me when we meet to discuss their divorce and division of family wealth is, how much will it cost. The answer is not straight forward and varies significantly based on the circumstances of each family. The truth is that no fault divorce is now inexpensive and the cost of division of finances, if managed sensibly, is both controllable and containable; it isn’t what you do but the way that you do it.

Most lawyers are paid by the hour and must give an estimate of costs from the start. The approach taken by lawyers and client alike will have a significant impact on how things play out. My clients get the same advice; adopt a reasonable open, and honest approach from the outset if you want to avoid costs spiralling out of control.

Appointing a qualified mediator can very often be the best place to start. I work with a number of mediators across London and locally such as MID mediation in Hampton Hill. If mediation is successful and a deal is struck, then it is essential to have the agreement approved by a court (in order to make it binding) work that really should be done by an expert family lawyer. There are costs associated with getting the family courts approval, but it will always be money well spent, an insurance policy for certainty and future compliance.

If mediation fails and a lawyer is instructed to support settlement negotiations, it is critical to focus on what is important. Too often lawyer`s communications descend into ‘tit for tat’ at their client’s expense; there is nothing worse for an unhappy couple than finding their situation inflamed by the egos of their respective lawyers. My advice is to keep it simple, focus on establishing the facts and areas of disagreement, then positively engaging with all involved to find a way through.

If neither mediation nor sensible lawyer assisted negotiation is successful, after a reasonable attempt to make it work, then I advise my clients to start a court process with the aim of containing the areas of dispute and then streamlining them. Costs will increase, but if the process is carried out efficiently (with the aid of court driven timelines) it can be more of a focussed “short sharp shock” than a lingering and ultimately more expensive journey that ends up in exactly the same place.

Throughout a court process, there is an expectation that settlement discussions will continue. At each stage the court will highlight the total legal spend and demand estimates of the likely further cost if an agreement is not achieved. I have been involved with family disputes where legal fees have become eye-wateringly high and entirely disproportionate to the wealth available. They usually fit the same mould, unreasonable expectations improperly managed by poor advice or unchecked resentment by the husband and wife (and often the families behind them who are funding the proxy battle).

Ultimately, like with most things in life, you get back what you put in. Navigating a divorce sensibly based on an initial investment in good legal advice will help separating couples achieve the peace of mind that they have reached the right outcome as efficiently as possible then move on.